Aisha’s Musings: Is Duration Really That Important?

43 minutes! That's almost a full episode of Game of Thrones. Enough time to give yourself a pedicure, make jollof rice, iron your clothes for the week. 43 minutes! Why will someone even want that?

Love and Relationship: On Deal Breakers and the Importance of Stopping What You Cannot Finish

Love in my idealist perception is too much of a cementing, solidifying process to enter into simply on a whim, on the impulse of something as flimsy as emotions.

Chef Emeka Would Make Your Valentine’s Day with Five Course Meal at Thomas and Ray

In the spirit of love and sharing and everything good, Chef Emeka, in conjunction with Thomas and Ray Whiskey Bar, is set to make...

Love and Relationship: Conversations in Defense of Marriage

You start be saying that you agree, that marriage can be overrated, that not every filtered picture depicts the perfect happiness many people like to portray. You also tell him, that humans can make a successful enterprise of life without the encumbrance of marriage. It is fine, and it is free, to be quite happily unmarried.

Love and Relationships: On Waddling Through Life and Dealing With Anger

There I was, rallying my thoughts for the most appropriate response to an act that hurt me, nursing the grief, but only long enough to avenge it, to make some visible mark on the violator with my own words, something to show that I did not just take it, that it was not okay that she did what she did, that I would have the final say because silence was surrendering myself to a death of abuse.

Love and Relationships: When Good Intentions Are Simply Not Enough

Am I saying hide the truth? No. But truth can be communicated without becoming a theme song, without filtering into every conversation, forced and unwanted.

Aisha’s Musings: The Zacchaeus Principle – Dear Ladies, Climb That Tree

2015 was Seize the Bae… 2016 was Commit or Commot… And now we’re at 2017… Marry Me or Die.

Love and Relationship: On Equality – For Women Who Need to Balance Faith with Sense

I read of Deborah sitting in the office of a prophet and judge, read about Jesus and see how he was so unabashedly anti women-shaming and pro-humanity. Thus I know that the problem is not with faith, but with people who manipulate tools for their personal prejudice.

Abuja Musings: Are We Ready to Talk About Sex Toys?

Over time, the question “what do you think about sex toys?” has been posed to various people, male and female and I’ll just let you read some of my favourite responses.

Love and Relationships: On Discovering You are a Side Beau

I’m used to this narrative swung in the opposite direction, where women tirelessly insert themselves into awkward contests to win back a man’s love. So shamelessly I will admit that there was a soft gloat in my heart as I watched these two men so out of character, removed from their social composure, and degenerated into the dirt of combat, all because they discovered that each of them had been played for a side beau.

New Year and the Boundaries You Must Set in Your Relationships

What I'm trying to say is that the New Year will probably not be different from the last one, and this is why. You and I are still very possibly the same, with our human capacity for foolishness and error.

Love and Relationships: Four Relationship Types That Must End With 2016

Having someone constantly poke holes at your vulnerabilities almost seems like a benign price to pay for the laughter they bring you, except that what you have isn’t even real.

Does Giving ‘Blow Jobs’ Diminish a Woman’s Respect and Worth? Here’s What Nigerians Think

Some women thoroughly enjoy having their man quake and tremble before them, even though they mostly perform that function on their knees. Still, others think it truly reduces a woman's worth.

Love and Relationship: Portrait of 2016 – Lessons from Reviewing My Year

First let me say that the journey to all that I learned this year really began with rediscovering the magic of small things, and how, through the major storms and disappointments of life, smallness always comes through. You know, little things we (especially me) have taken for granted. Like conversation with a friend over the Atlantic, the sheer possibility of it, the fact that one can be so far yet so near, so readily accessible.

Love and Relationship: On Walking Away And Learning to Say Goodbye

You have always known how to swallow your words. Your thoughts learned how to ram violently against the walls of your mouth, seeking escape and sometimes they do, they escape. But your truth somehow becomes your fault, something you need to apologise for, a conversation you should not have had, something you should not have said, a favour you dared not refuse. You keep falling for the blackmails until you crash, a bruised soul and a body tattooed with wounds. Yet, you do not know how to say goodbye, how to escape a falling building.

Love and Relationship: The First Date And How Not To Engage

One date. That is what you tell yourself; one simple date to see where things lead. You wrap yourself in the brilliance of this decision as you dash out in the morning, ready to make things happen. The only problem is that you are not quite savvy with the rudiments of a first date...

Love and Relationship: The Portrait of a Stalker

It occurs to me that he is trying to stall, maybe stretch the evening by continuing the conversation on a spot. I am plotting my escape when he suddenly leaps at me and says: can I ask you a personal question?'

Love and Relationship: Is Love Worth Fighting For? Perspectives From the Penguin Saga

The thing is, some years ago I would have jumped at the idea of bleeding for love, at the thought of holding heart in hand and offering it openly and unashamedly, at the notion of fighting to keep a person. But I know differently now. I know that the heart strays long before the body departs, and try as you might, you can't get a person to choose you back.

Love and Relationship: Don’t Get Married for Any of These Reasons

Basically, stop waiting around with cartoon expectations. Life is not a fairy tale. Because it looks good and wears a smile does not mean you should jump at it. Take your time.

Love and Relationship: On Body Talk and the Need to Stop Period Shaming Women

The first time I saw my period, it felt like a fraud. My integrated science teacher had chirped happily about this biological process that would tear through my uterus and shed itself as blood. She continued saying, even as my mind protested, that it was natural, and that it was the fate of every woman. My mother had a more summarized approach. "One day you will see blood in your pant", she said, "It is called your menses."


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