Chrissy Teigen has broken her silence since she and husband, John Legend lost their 20-week old baby, Jack.
The cookbook author and mother of two shared the heartbreaking piece she wrote for Medium which detailed all of the events leading to the loss of her third child and all the emotions that came with it.
Chrissy Teigen revealed that she was diagnosed with Placenta Abruption and the fluid around Jack was too low to sustain him, making his chance of survival in her womb very slim.
She disclosed that she bled throughout the pregnancy, though sometimes in small amount but consistently and had to be placed on bedrest for a month.
In true Chrissy fashion, she joked that she became a connoisseur of adult diapers and thanked the brands that didn’t mke her feel like an ‘adult sh*ting baby’
In her piece, Chrissy Teigen stated that it got to a point that the amniotic fluid became so low that she could feel Jack’s arm and legs from outside her body and after struggling with this for a while, she had to agree with the doctors that it was time to let go.
She was scheduled for delivery and given an epidural to bring forth her 20-week baby. Teigen said she didn’t have to be dilated much at all as he was so tiny, he came out almost immediately. She had requested her husband take pictures of the scene as it happened and even though he didn’t understand it and was not comfortable with the idea, John Legend obliged her.
After birthing Jack, Chrissy noted that she requested to be showed his hands and feet and kissed them over and over before saying her goodbye. Her husband and mother who were with her also said their goodbyes to him.
Chrissy Teigen who said she sometimes feels guilty when she catches herself in a moment of laughter, says she still sometimes cradles what used to be her bump. She noted that they have explained to their kids, Luna and Miles as best as they can and little Jack’s ashes will be going with them to their new home; the one they had decided on with him in mind.
She especially thanked everyone who has offered a kind word, shared their experiences, written poems, sent flowers, etc., and revealed her gratitude for little moments of joy brought on by people.
Chrissy Teigen encouraged everyone to be kind in general because some people will never share their experiences but it doesn’t take away from the loss or pain.
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I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt so….final. I don’t want to ever not remember jack. . . Thank you to everyone who has been so kind. Thank you to the incredible doctors who tried so hard to make our third life a reality. Thank you to my friends and family and our entire household for taking care of me through all the adult diaper changes, bed rest and random hugs. Thank you John for being my best friend and love of my life. A lot of people think of the woman in times like this but I will never forget that john also suffered through these past months, while doing everything he could to take care of me. I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love.