Billie Eilish recently sat down with for a new interview with Gayle King, in which the 18-year-old discussed her mental health and coping with suicidal thoughts.
The interview is a part of The Gayle King Grammy Special, during which Eilish and King spent the day together and the singer shared that she used to self-harm and thought she wouldn’t be alive to see her 17th birthday.
“I didn’t ever think I would be happy again, ever,” she said. King mentioned that perhaps the isolation Eilish felt as she became more famous added to her becoming clinically depressed. “I don’t want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17,” Eilish said.
“You didn’t think you’d make it to 17?” King responded. “But did you think that you would do something to yourself?” To which Eilish responded, “Yeah.”
The artist said that one time when she was in Berlin, she struggled with suicidal ideation. “I remember there was a window right there,” she said about her empty hotel room. “And I, God. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was gonna die was I was gonna do it.”
See more about the interview below: