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Onyeka Nwelue

Onyeka Nwelue
Onyeka Nwelue is the President of La Cave Musik, a record label based in Paris, specialising in music from Africa and the Caribbean. He’s an Assistant Visiting Professor of African Studies at the University of Manipur. His latest book, Hip-Hop is Only for Children won the Non-Creative Book of the Year at the 2015 Nigerian Writers’ Awards.

Preying from Paris: For Wole Soyinka, with Love from Port of Spain!

The newspapers say Nollywood is in Trinidad & Tobago for the film festival, but I am the only one here, walking the red carpet as the only Nigerian filmmaker here tonight.

Preying from Paris: At the AMAAs, Nigerians Couldn’t Rig Anything!

I am never going to compare and contrast the AMAAs with any other award, but there is a huge credibility attached to the AMAAs

Preying From Paris: KCee is Mad Again and Wants to Drown in Limpopo River!

If KCee had any shame, he would not say the things he said about Asa; he would have focused on his heartbreak caused by HarrySong.

Preying from Paris: Bobrisky’s Prayer Requests and Other Conversations

Maybe, the last article I wrote on Bobrisky is what is encouraging him/her to do some of the things he/she is doing right.

Preying from Paris: So Short a Letter to Hushpuppi!

"I’m an admirer. Of your pictures. I don’t envy you. I think I would love to meet you in person – and disappear."

Preying from Paris: An Open Letter to President Kagame From a Nigerian

"Mr President, you work so hard, but your efforts will be in vain if other African Presidents don’t follow your steps."

Preying From Paris: Like Dammy Krane, I Flew a Private Jet Too!

I have used the same private jet Wizkid used. It was exactly the same jet that WizKid had earlier posted and claimed was his'.

Preying from Paris: Aishwarya Rai, Cinderella and Other Shows!  

Do you all know the Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai? She was crowned the Most Beautiful Woman in the World in 1994. She is married to one of my favourite Bollywood actors, Abhishek Bachchan, son of demi-god Amitabh Bachchan.

Preying From Paris: Confronting Institutionalised Racism In Stockholm

Films like 'Kalushi' and 'I am not you Nego' screened at the CinemAfrica Film festival are total experiments that this life we live, was created by white people, but a point will come in a man’s life when he will decide to not take shit.

Preying from Paris: Why Soldiers Attacked Me in Abuja!

For those who were gladdened by the fact that I was beaten, I will not pray that your sister encounters these immoral bastards, but that you will encounter them in your own way and make up your mind if you will stand for women or against them.

Preying From Paris: Why YNaija Should Never Look for My Trouble!

I am not good at keeping quiet and when people want to raise dust, they have to involve my beautiful name. Oh well, in case YNaija has forgotten: I was one of the first contributors to the Ynaija Magazine

Preying from Paris: The Annihilation of Our Radical Vision to Transform Nigeria!

We are about to witness a Transformation. I am sure you have heard this before. I am sure someone has tried this before, but what is about to happen is going to happen with our Mentality, our Economy, our Culture and our Spirituality. There will be no other Revolution after this.

Preying From Paris: The Hopelessness of Nigeria!

Nigeria, as a country is wallowing in hopelessness. There is anger in the land; there is absolute nothing to brag about. It is disheartening to see how the situation is getting worse day by day

Preying from Paris: When Writers Have One Place to Gather!

I would love to be at Ake, but I am not sure I am the kind of writer that would be invited to Ake since I have not produced any 'intelligent' work.

Preying From Paris: Why Do Americans Play God?

How do you justify invading another man’s country? I think the systemic God-complex is what has destroyed the pivotal values of the American people. What do you see in another nation that you haven’t seen in yours?

Preying from Paris: How an American Duped Me!

I sent $16,000 meant for office space in the US to an American friend, but I didn't know he is an online scammer. King blocked me from all his social media account once he got the money.

Preying from Paris: How I Created Jobs for Youths in my Head and Marie Umeh

How do you envision a nation with youths tired of life and instead of committing suicide, they are interested in End Time. They ask themselves: When will the world come to an end?

Preying from Paris: Bobrisky and Other Pretty Boys in Lagos!

Apart from the way Bobrisky shoves these wads of money into my face and get me all worked up and angry and envious and jealous, I don’t have any problem with the way he sees the world.

Preying from Paris: Chidinma Okeke, Cucumbers and Other Room!

I give Nigerians just two weeks and Chidinma Okeke’s Vagina Monologue will be over. More interesting things will hap

Preying from Paris: Tony Elumelu, the Spirit of Simplicity and Ohio!

I was at the reception of Four Seasons Hotel when Mr. Elumelu waltzed in, draped in black body-fit and black trousers. He looked very young and smiled all through.

Preying from Paris: On the Opening of Theatre Republic and Other Pasts

Wole Oguntokun has swatted through the cleavages of suffering and tiredness. Yet, he goes on and on to produce these plays and make theatre an amazing journey.

Preying from Paris: The House of Nwapa and Other Houses

By the time the film was to be shown, there were technical hitches. I prayed that nothing worked, so I would go home and blame the organisers, but at the end, it worked and everyone settled into their seats to see the film.

Preying from Paris: When Things Fall Apart, I Stand Gidigba with Linda Ikeji Media!

Six years ago, she shut down her office, packed her stuff and went home because she could no longer afford rent. Today, she is renting this space for 11 million per year, because the owner of the property doesn't want to sell.

Preying from Paris: On Festival of India, Uber and How People Can Wakanow.com!

Uber drivers add salt to my injury. They are inquisitive. They want to act like they care about you. Some of them use slow internet. It takes minutes for the fares to calculate. They never have change.

Preying from Paris: An Open Letter to Charly Boy

You have shrouded yourself in mystery, avoided politics, but if you don’t come out to lead Imo State, dear Charly Boy, Imo State’s future will remain bleak and dark under the leadership of these wanton bloodsuckers who continue to force themselves on us

Preying from Paris: Kiss Daniel, Khalifa Usman Mustapha and Other Pranks!

Nigeria is a hot place. It is a troubled country and the weather doesn’t help Lagosians who are frustrated. If Kiss Daniel was so chilled under the Lagos weather, then, I want to know how he did it.

Preying from Paris: That Buhari’s Children Graduation Party & Other Stupid Things

I have already agreed that Mr Buhari is an acute failure; he came in, threatening to better the lives of Nigerians, but after one year, Mr President has failed in every way. He remains the most clueless politician I know at the moment. This is no personal attack on his person, but for allowing his children celebrate their graduation in foreign universities publicly, at a time when there is no Nigerian university that one can pride over, I must tell you how much I feel disgusted by this negligence and unintelligible mask displayed by a man the entire nation looks up to.

Preying from Paris: Arik Air and Other Nigerian Brouhaha

I can’t remember the last time I flew Arik Air and I have always warned people not to. I am doing the same now. They have no respect for anyone. Arik has no customer care. There is a certain degree of madness they explore that scares. They are more interested in acting strict, yet, they are so unprofessional you begin to question how educated they are.

Preying from Paris: The Young Shall Grow & Tales of Abuja Prostitutes

Let the female prostitutes try and behave like the male prostitutes and keep their business off the streets the way they have done it. If they feel great with the way they hawk their wares, it is okay, but this is my opinion.

Preying from Paris: Hopes for Nigeria, Brymo and Nigerian Youths

Black people must come here and live and explore and enjoy as long as the Indians themselves don’t hesitate in moving to other lands. I have news for Ravi Naik: if Nigerians must stop coming to India, Indians MUST stop coming to Nigeria. It is called reciprocity in politics and diplomacy.