Aisha’s Musings: On Oral Sex – Who Says Cunnilingus Isn’t SEX?

cunnilingus oral sex

I am a Game Of Thrones fanatic. What’s not to love about a show that presents gore, action, fantasy, politics, love, romance, and sex with such finesse? When, after the long winter, season 7 finally commenced, I planned to do a rundown of my best sex scenes of the season, but (as with previous seasons where the makers tend to know what you want and refuse to hand it to you), season 7 was rather scanty of sex scenes. And no, I refuse to count the scene in the end, and how they managed to ruin something that should have been so very beautiful.

But they gave us something at least.

Some months back, I talked about men with small penises and how they should be better appreciated. Game Of Thrones took that to the next level and gave us a man that had none at all and how he still could hold his own in bed. Now it’s not like I’m here saying I would want to, or could be with a man that is without, I cannot. My point? There is a whole lot that can be done without the penis.

Like oral sex (or as I like to call it these days, the Grey Worm).

Growing up, oral sex was this great, big wonder, a whisper among teenage girls in between giggles. A type of sex that preserves your virginity? Tell me more. Of course, anal sex never came up then, it was too much of a scandal then for our minds to concretise into a discussion (I wonder what teenage girls wonder about these days).

So there was a safe option (well, safer really—oral sex isn’t that safe, STDs can still be transmitted, so yes, you need to have yourself and your partner tested before Fellatio or Cunnilingus, you can never be too careful, trust me). But it was an option nonetheless, at least nobody that I know of has gotten pregnant from cunnilingus. And it is great. Fantastic. And I don’t mean that mess people call 69 (because what is head outside the relaxation factor? How you can be pleasured while you have to worry about pleasuring for the moment).

Outside the biology of making babies, if I had to choose between cunnilingus and vaginal penetration, I’d likely go for cunnilingus. The last person I said that to laughed and told me I have been having bad sex. Maybe. What are we certain of these days? But what I find interesting is that as far as our conversation was concerned, oral sex didn’t count as sex. I think it does. I don’t believe it’s a brand of foreplay either. Not that it cannot come in the course of foreplay, but ‘foreplay’ is a room too small to attempt to fit it into.

And here is where I might find myself over-analyzing. Where does white become black and what’s up with the grey area? If oral sex is sex, then when our doctor asks “are you sexually active?” do you say “yes”? If so, do you include it when doing a body count? If a virgin girl meets a virgin boy and they both give each other head (no, not 69), have they lost their virginity to each other? Do we actually need to revisit the age at which we had our sex debut?

I recognize that sexuality, and thus sex, is as fluid as our orientation. But this recognition probably widens the grey area for me. So a girl chooses to have anal sex as a way to preserve her hymen so she can call herself Virgin. But with a homosexual male couple, this by all means counts as sex. A lesbian couple has oral sex and for them, that is sex. So do the dynamics change when we consider a heterosexual couple? Is it easier to group vaginal sex with anal sex than with oral? Why? Because there’s penetration? Is that a sufficient method? I don’t suppose so.

But I know that I will choose oral sex over vaginal sex. Heck, doesn’t oral even feel more intimate? Will I include oral sex in a body count? I don’t subscribe to body counting so that won’t have to come up.

In conclusion though, a fun fact:

If you are flexible enough, you can pleasure yourself orally—auto-fellatio/cunnilingus. See why all those cardio and yoga routines might be necessary?

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